Rebuilding. Again.

Enjoying the sun during an amazing run the day before catching a fever

I recently started running and working out again after taking the month of January off. I didn't want to take January off, but series of illnesses passing through made taking long naps the more prudent church. It happens.

​Ironically, the day before the first sickness was pretty excellent. I went on a long and delightful trail run, feeling better than I had since the previous spring. Developing an achy fever 24 hours later has me shaking my head when I think about it. 

Two weeks later, the second sickness - this time Covid - cropped up the day after I did some light floor exercises. It was my first time doing any sort of workout since the fever. I wasn't nearly as wiped out this time around, but the irony wasn't wasted on me.

Like I said, it happens.

Running and other workouts are a tricky venture because exercise both alleviates and aggravates my chronic symptoms. When done right, getting up and moving improves my focus and reduces my symptoms. However, if I push myself a little too hard, the next several days are rough. Vertigo, hand tremors, stumbling speech, all sorts of clumsy, fuzzy goodness.

It's like my circuits get over loaded and they require reduced demands while they sort themselves out. There's nothing to do but wait a bit and try again.

Whether I take this in stride or have a raging temper tantrum about these setbacks depends upon the day. It is disheartening to delay or decline activities because my brain is too staticky to function that day. Fortunately, I've become pretty fluent in reading and managing my symptoms. I also keep reminding myself the goal is a good life. Bad days are allowed in a good life.

I am optimistic, but also aware that things could quite suddenly go very wrong.

This tricky balance has been on my mind lately because, in three weeks, I getting a 6 hour EEG. This test is long awaited and I am excited. My intent is to do what I can to ensure I have symptoms while in that room. Whatever the results are, I want the neuro team to see something. Worst case scenario would be having no visible symptoms AND no activity detected by the electrodes.

I know what I need to do to become symptomatic. A few limit-pushing runs in the week prior will take care of that. The tricky bit is that I have things to do! I want to go all-in and just wipe myself out. At the same time, I want my wits about me in order to take care of new work responsibilities and life in general.

Knowing that I'm about to cause myself to become a fuzzy-headed grump makes me cringe. It takes so long to get on solid ground again. At the same time, this is a big picture choice. Being a cranky mess for the month of March could very likely lead to some lifetime benefits.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.
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