Setbacks and Optimism

This has been my unintentional theme for 2024. Lots of things to be optimistic about, but then…I don’t even know.

I really haven’t been feeling well since the seizure event that happened back in September. A couple other smaller ones have happened since then, and my doctor has scheduled a couple more tests. I feel optimistic about them because the style of test makes it more likely to capture what’s actually happening in my brain. At the same time, it scares me that I keep feeling worse. Some days, the symptoms remind me of how I felt during the first years after this started.

I want to go running and not worry about it.
I don’t want to have to keep starting over.

I am very, very fortunate and have an amazing support group, and this is exhausting. I’m tired of thinking about it, and I’m tired of feeling like I’m being lazy, when that’s often (but not always) not the case.
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Blerg. Time to talk about something else. Being ignored by crows is more fun.
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