Think about how strange it is to recall a dream. You have the ability to remember specific events and feeling, but they don’t quite connect. There are gaps in the logic. Now imagine you had access to someone who saw everything that happened in your dream and could fill in all the missing pieces.

That is what happened to me last week.

My younger brother and I were both climbing the walls a little, so this past Wednesday, I convinced him to go on a hike with me. It was a nice outing. We grabbed lunch beforehand and the hike itself was short and pleasant. Leaving the trail, the route home goes through downtown Hot Springs. While driving past all the tourist shops and bathhouses, I started feeling really weird and nauseated. I pulled over, and crouched behind the car. My brother turn on the hazard lights because we were in a no parking zone. I remember not wanting to get sick on my shoes or in my muffler.

After that, my recollections get really vague. For example, I remember cheerfully telling the stranger who offered me water, “No, thank you!” The stranger was my brother.

I also remember wanting my brother to look at the pattern in the pavement (there was a face in the white paint). He reports that I became fixated on all kinds of patterns, particularly the lights in the jewelry store and the dirt on my car window. I even wanted paper towels to clean it off. I don’t remember any of this.

I also don’t remember going into my trunk to get my sodium tablets out of my box of useful things. My brother says I first grabbed a travel bottle of contact lens solution and insisted it was sodium. He was smart enough to know that wasn’t correct and found the right bottle. I don’t remember getting into the passenger seat and fastening my own seat belt either. But I did.

My brother says the whole thing outside the car lasted maybe 10 minutes. I was cheerful and talking, but was clearly “circling Mars” until the drive home, when I fell asleep. I didn’t start regaining awareness until we arrived in Malvern. I slept for at least another hour once home. Since then, I have been extra tired and fuzzy, but otherwise fine. I’ve actually been a bit more productive.

So, what happened?

I think it was a TLE seizure, or a focal seizure that only affects the temporal lobe. Reading the description, and it sounds like what I experienced. My brother agrees that it fits what he saw on his end. My chattiness was a little strange, but not unheard of. There’s no way to officially confirm it without an EEG and/or having more, and nobody wants that. It most likely is because I’ve been having trouble with my medication. The kind I’m on has a side effect of lowering sodium. Late last spring, it was confirmed mine had become chronically low, so my dosage was reduced. Evidently, that solved one problem while creating another. I have some blood work scheduled for today. I’m 99.9% positive my medication will be changed.

Meanwhile, all is well. Honestly, the event itself is borderline hilarious. My brother was definitely concerned and handled it brilliantly, yes/and-ing me to safety. However, we both agree, all of the humor quickly disappears when thinking about what might’ve happened if he wasn’t there…

Moral of the Episode: Scary things become fun when my brother is around!

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I read a few stories about people striking up a relationship with the crows near their home, and I rather like the idea. My parents’ have a large yard. Crows are present. I’m a nature nerd with a love of projects. Sounds like great idea to pursue!

I liked it mostly as a notion, a potential possibility, until I mentioned it to me not-so-wee nephew in the card I sent for his 9th birthday. He was all on board, and passed along the message that he will feed them when they come visit this summer. They are coming the only week I am out of town, and as someone who loves being an aunt but is currently unable to see any niblings, this timing is grating. No way am I going to pass up this chance to bond with a kid I adore.

When I originally thought to do this, I wanted to do it in a way that didn’t make the crows too territorial about the house. I’d heard they can become rather possessive, chasing away guests and the like. The obvious solution was to center the feeding near the pond. Not only is it a reasonable distance from the house, the crows might even chase off the Canada geese that regularly try to make themselves comfortable.

In order to keep other critters away, the best course of action appeared to be to start feeding them up near the house, where we see them most often. Over time, I could move slowly down the hill to the permanent snack-time location.

​I talked to my family, and they’re all on board. I got some raw, shelled peanuts and cayenne pepper to deter greedy mammals. Now to initiate contact!

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June 1 – Despite being in the yard quite often, this was the first evening we’d seen any for a while. I decided that the next morning would the day to begin.


June 2 – Put 6 peanuts in a jar, gave them a quick spritz of water, a dash of cayenne, and gave them a shake. I placed them on the ground near the old play fort. No crows were in sight, but they often hang in that area. Checking later, nothing had touched them aside for a few ants.

I mentioned to my fabulous brother that maybe I should put the peanuts on aluminum foil since crows do like shiny things. He suggested I use his dog’s shiny chrome water bowl he’d just replaced. That seemed like an even better idea, especially with the plan to move where they get the treats. It also addressed some worries I had about my not-so-wee nephew taking over. If the crows learn to love the bowl, they’ll hopefully not terrorize the person bringing it outside.

I also realized that it would be better to let the crows see me bring out the peanuts, so they know that they are for them.


June 3-7 – No crows were seen, and the peanuts near the play fort remained virtually untouched.


June 8 – Two crows seen in the early afternoon! Not wanting to waste this opportunity, I put 6 peanuts in the dish, skipping the cayenne. I walked out towards them. They flew off once I got within 15m, and I set the dish down close to where they’d been saying, “These are few you!” and walked away. I didn’t see any crows or anything else approach the dish.

I left for a few hours. When I returned home, I noticed a crow near the corner of the house. As I came closer, I saw it see me before it flew off, cawing. I went to check the dish and all the peanuts we gone without a trace! I couldn’t be 100% sure they were taken by the crows, but I felt encouraged.


June 9 – Not sure if I should wait until they see me or if consistent snack time was better, I set 6 more peanuts – with cayenne this time – out at around the same point in the afternoon as the previous day. No crows were seen, and when I retrieved the dish in the evening, only one peanut was taken.

This led to two thoughts.

Thought 1: Since only one peanut was taken, IF it was a squirrel or other mammal who took the previous day’s peanuts, then the cayenne worked to deter them today.

Thought 2: Especially since I’m still trying to initiate contact, setting the dish out when I wake up may be a better option since the crows are more active in the morning and evening.


June 10 – Set dish of 6 cayenne-seasoned peanuts further out into the yard around 8am. It was completely empty before 10am. Yay! No idea what took them.

Around 11 am, saw three crows. Quickly grabbed 5 peanuts (I miscounted) and walked towards them. Like before, they flew away before I got close. I placed it near, but not quite in, the area they’d been hanging. I got my computer and set myself on the porch to watch while I worked.

After a few minutes, they returned. One looked curious and slowly approached the dish. However, one it got with a meter, a mockingbird dove at it. The crow retreated. The trio nibbled their way across the yard, further from the dish. Wanting to communicate that the peanuts are for them, I moved them closer. Again they flew away.

I watched them for a while, as they made their way across the yard, increasing their distance from my offering. Looking for advice on the internet, I found a Reddit post from someone who also lives in rural Arkansas. Like me, there are crows around, but no clear roosting place. The general consensus was, as you’re casually walking your dog and living your life, toss a few peanuts their direction. They’ll catch on.

So, in one last effort for the day, I retrieved the peanuts and took them over to them. They took flight almost as soon as I came into sight. I gently tossed the peanuts as I watched their retreating backs fly across the pond. A few hours later, the peanuts were still in grass. Since I really don’t want any other critters to claim the treats before the crows, I picked them up.


Conclusion: The crows recognize me and do not trust me.

Blerg.

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I often have a hint that neuro tired might be coming. Usually it is preceded by some sort of spell. A brief moment of *whoa* a day or so in advance. Or there is some big, emotional happening, and the neuro tired appears as things return to calm. Other times, it comes out of no where. I’m going a long, and slowly notice that I’m just not functioning right. I become more anxious and frustrated until, suddenly, the realization hits me.

This time, the cause is stress.

Getting things going at Cage Free Voices is a roller coaster. Lots of really encouraging enthusiasm with some really amazing people, but very few are willing to commit. Lots and lots of interest, very little follow through. It’s made me normal tired for several weeks. It makes sense that my nervous system would decide to join the party.

I think that’s enough for now. There is still plenty to do, and plenty of students to take care of. A nap would likely be a better way to spend my time that catching up on this.